Invader Dib - Translated
by ThatFanficTranslation
Summary: The story is set 3 years after constant, resultless battles between main characters. Zim in desperation abducts Dib, hoping to finish this once and for all. Dib must find himself in a new environment, finding home among aliens. However to former enemies didn't forget about each other. Original by Temnyy prorok / / ficbook. net / readfic / 1286704
1. Chapter 1

This is only a translation. The original story belongs to: Temnyy prorok and can be found at ficbook readfic / 1286704

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Location: Planet Irk

Off-planetary materials research department: laboratory

" Voices... few voices... Trembling... Quit shaking me!" Thought Dib " Laughter... something is shaking me again. I can't understand what they're saying. Wait... I just heard my name... They said my name! But Who? Wait a minute, I remember that voice... I can't catch anything else. I can recognize many languages from hearing. but... I still can't open my eyes, I'm not sure I even want to... I can hear something weird, some kind of squeaking noise... ultrasounds maybe... They're getting closer to my head. Ow! My ears! That goddamn sound! My head... It feels like someone is hitting me with a baseball bat... " Dib screamed.

"It's breathing!" Rose an echo from above.

"He's an idiot" Said another voice' this time more clearly.

"Where did that speculation came from?"

"This one is abnormal."

"Him... I can't see how... Zim?"

" Truly, I can't comprehend what's so interesting about him? It's just a regular warm-blooded monkey, only less hairy.'

They began talking to each other, as if there was no living thing in front of them. Dib slowly began to regain his consciousness, the ability to understand came to him like a reaction from a pierced bubble filled with hydrogen peroxide. ( T: A violent reaction with a big boom) Dib moaned hopelessly after he managed to open his eyes. The first things he saw were two greenish man with piercing red eyes, dressed in white lab coats, with high collars reaching above their noses, through Dib knew they didn't have any. They slowly turned towards him and bursted out with laughter a second later. One of them approached the creature.

" We didn't opened that channel in your brain so you could just whine! One of your kind started doing these sounds too and in the next minute he was dead. We had to decompose him to atoms, so he wouldn't stink and them sell him to the other labs."

"Do you want to end up like him?" Suprised Dib shook his head in negation, as much as he could. He was lying on a white round table, with protruding two blades on each side of it. His hand and legs were motionless, despite not being tied up to it in any way. He seemed to be sticked to it.

" Speak up!" Ordered the one closer to Dib

" Tell me your ID number!"

" No, it's too early for that." Said the second one

" Check it. We should check it anyway, it's part of our responsibilities. I repeat: What is your identification number?

Dib gathered all of his strength, that he managed to collect during the short time he was awoken. He clenched his teeth and with a strangled, choked voice he began to ask as many question as possible: " My name is Dib. The last thing I remember is that I was at home. What the hell is this ID number? Detach me from this table and give me a phone! I want to go home you ho-ho-horrible aliens!"

"Hmm... Yeah, that's a good reaction. Yes, we also want to go home after 48 hours of work. Ugh! Firstly we had to go all over our heads, to purge Zims nervous system from all toxic substances. They brought him here even though we're kind of terrified of this guy. Anyway, it's not important. And then they brought you here. Yeah... There is no place like home!. Isn't that right buddy?" They both began to laugh.

"It's not funny! You can't compare us..." - Dibs speech was interrupted, by the closer alien.

" Let me give you some advise, you overgrown monkey, stop resisting and start answering all the question politely, when they're asked.

Two blades popped out of the selling and began to move towards the human. From the other side of the door, if they could be even called that, reached hysterical screams: " You have no right! I brought him here! According to the irken law, there should be a quarter left for me! Me Zim!" It seemed that he was further provoked by someone because from the aliens mouth flew an endless series of swear words in both earthly and alien origin,like an epic verbal diarrhea.

" Zim!" Shouted terrified Dib " Zim, you bastard!"

" We know his name " Said one of the white covered irkens " We ensure you"

" You'll get your quarter. We'll even give you acces to the energy sector, so you wouldn't splatter blood over the floor and walls, but only if he'll survive the upcoming experiments." He said to Zim "And now get him out of there before he'll destroy half of the building! Wait outside like a good 'invader'..."

Silent swearing could be heard as he slowly walked out.

" Well excuse me! You% # &amp; ! of Tallest!" The door closed behind him.

" Experimmmmmments? On me?" Dib mumbled with a trembling voice.

" You spelled it wrongly, but yes you're right." - Said the one that spoke previously to Zim.

" What do you mean?" I-I..." His eyesight became cloudy, the air grew hot, almost to hot. The earthling said with burning lungs - " You motherfuckers! And this number Identifi-iden-id...Ugh!

" Ah! Your number, that was just a joke, forget about it."

" Wha?" - said Dib " That was all a lie.. all of it..."

" Not all of it." Said one of them, approaching the human. " My second was just taking you by surprise. You couldn't even give it to us, even if you wanted to, not until the hexadecimal code will be fully generated. You'll do this later, otherwise Zim will get what he wants and he'll ruin everything.

" After 40 years of asking that question, I'm so tired of it, it should be changed." He turned to his companion.

" It's not for you to decide, idiot, and now off you go to the section of infectious diseases and arrange the number, cuz the filter doesn't help." He said, then with a swift motion, he pulled something from Dibs throat. It was a weird, white device resembling a ballpoint pen. Dib cried out more from the pain than shock, he didn't even noticed the object. He bagan to breathe heavily from large amount of alien air in his lungs.

" What number? You said you're kidding!" Coughed the earthling

" The joke was that we weren't kidding at all." They both started laughing again.

" Computer! Give this insolent life form the number and send him in." After that sentence he went to a marked circle on the floor, stood on it and breaking all laws of physics it lifted up with him.

" Hey! Where're you going?" Dib began coughing violently and lost the desire to say anything at all.

From the table that he was lying on, slid two blades from right and left. Moment later they were joined by two mechanical hands that moved him gracefully to the middle of the room in which there was a hole in the ceiling, from where lots and lots of different cables and wires were coming out and connected with the floor and walls. It looked like they were coming out from the patient, scattering his insides all over the room.

Table still with the human on it, turned, not moving from the place. Dib looked with horror on hypnotizing flashing lights placed all over the bottomless pit. The table made a sound,then Dib got separated from it and disappeared in thin air. A piercing scream escaped from the human when a device, separated from the wall, tightened on him forming some kind of cage, designed having most aggressive subjects in mined. In front of his face appeared few identical monitors. A mechanic voice came from the white screen - " ID " - Dib could only respond with a vague gurgling. "This isn't happening!" The monitor changed color to red, as a sign of recognized error. Somewhere in the darkness a faint red light could be seen, it was surrounding a machine then it stopped ahead of Dibs head. It released a beam of light aimed straight at his forehead. The sudden bright light blinded his, already damaged eyes.

" Light! Oh god how hot! It feels like a heated wire went straight through my brain! Eight ... What? Location ... Three ... Five ... Zero ... What is this? I can have few thoughts sanctimoniously at the same time!... Zero One Zero Nine... I can't recall my way home as well as these numbers... Hot ... "

A bright flash of light struck again somewhere between the left and right hemispheres of his brain.

"Identification Number!" The monitor repeated.

My lips ... No. I can't control them! Something orders me to speak ... eight, three, five, zero, zero, one, zero, nine.

" Affirmative!" confirmed the screen and changed the color to green with a sign " Dib: ID." The human was trying to convince himself that it was only a nightmare and he'll wake up at any moment. Breathing was hard but manageable. Then his lungs ceased to function, and his breathing stopped. Dib desperately tried to wake up as his lungs were slowly filling with his own blood, however he broke away from this thought when he heard a distant gurgling. From below, his cage began to flood. When the liquid reached his feet, Dib began to pitifully mumble to himself. " It's just a dream! It's just a dream! It's just a dream! It's just a dream! It's just a dream! Someone's gonna wake me up soon! AAAAA!" Pink liquid filled the whole room, floating both Dibs body and his hope. Panic and despair fought within him, but soon Dib noticed that he could breathe. Pink substance infiltrated his respiratory system, but it wasn't as irritating as the air in the lab. It was liquid oxygen, that Dib never experienced before. However it had another purpose.

"Damn it!" He thought, feeling the liquid on his tongue. At this moment wires disconnected from the walls, drastically changing his situation. With breaking speed they moved down draging the human with them into the newly opened tunnel, leaving in the pink liquid only bubbles that remained from his silent scream.


	2. Chapter 2

Translator's note:

If anyone has time and desire to keep the translation going, consider becoming my beta reader. That is, if you didn't carved out your eyes already from seeing my horrible grammar. I'm sorry!

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The next chapter is really long and consist of 2 parts.

Here is a question for you :

Would you rather wait patiently for an big update or have two in shorter periods of time?

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Location: Planet Irk

Government Headquarters ( Property of the Tallest)

Inside the room there were about a dozen irken loyalists, who were also the creme de la creme of society, known as 'intellectuals'. Their purpose was to manage the database that stored crucial information on Irk, as well as the execution of The Almighty Tallests orders. Usually in the oval room was someone from the outside of the elite circle and Tallest, often some outstanding politician or military officer, it could also be a member of special group made out of different regenerates, who owned it thanks to theirs extraordinary ambition and ruthlessness when it comes to achieving their goal (to put it simply, they were criminals). At the moment, all the "intellectuals" were sitting in a circular room. The Tallest were looking at the screen with indifference and contempt simultaneously. In the middle of the broadcasting room was Zim with his hands handcuffed at his back. Two, taller by a head, guards were standing behind him.

"Why I'm not surprised to see you here today, Zim?" Asked Red with muffled but clear voice.

" I'm sure you're surprised, my Tallest, by the the fact that Zim is the only invader that has managed to bring here the most dangerous, unstoppable,nasty, dirty, scoundrel..."

" Enough! " - Red couldn't hold back any longer -" Or you dare deny that you nearly destroyed the planet because of your own stupidity? Haven't you run away from planet Foodcourtia, despite the fact that you were banished there as a punishment? And You did it twice! Don't try to deceive us, as you did for over three years, because of you we almost won the " the most stupid population of the universe" award. And as a final straw, you crashed in the middle of Off-Planetary research centre, half an hour ago ?!" The entire room fell dead silent.

" I " Said Zim " I... Zim, who doesn't stop at nothing... just needs more time, who else has done so much good in the name of the Tallest..."

" So you decided dig your own grave even deeper? " He was interrupted by Purple

" What? Zim does not understand."

" You are a threat to the entire irken race. You're never fully aware of your own actions, you ... What I mean is that there should be a list of unreformable destructive morons, created just so you could be on it! "

" But, but, but... My Tallest!" Zim began to panic " I can still fix it! And I can partially compensate for the losses that I inflicted - I brought the earthling! He's in the lab right now! I purposely brought him there, only... Zim has mistaken gas for a brake pedal and... You have to believe me! It was this disgusting, ugly, stinky piece of meat, that has caused that misunderstanding! He had destroyed all of my plans! And I, Zim, using my genius and persuasion skills, had never raised a suspicion in any human, except for him! I tell him : " Dib, don't touch me, I am a human like everybody else and I love, I love the earth! " And he sais: "No you fucking scum... I'll kill you, I'll kill just because, you're green and your dog is also green!"

You can do everything you want to him : Remove his intestines, put it into his head and make him dance! Or check his survival abilities - first break his one leg, then the other one and third, and ..."

" Zim!" Both the Tallest yelled, having in mind that not many people in the room had strong nerves, one of the 'intellectuals' became twice as pale as the rest.

" You're insane! " Red summarized. " You brought him here? " He pointed at the screen that showed a Dib (ish) image, who was in a semi- conscious state inside of the capsule filled with RA-2. " This is the beast that sabotage you for three years?! "

" I realize that he doesn't look very threatening... " He was interrupted by everyone's laughter, even the guard behind him couldn't hold it in.

" Listen Zim" Began Red. " If he truly is the one that destroyed all your 'brilliant' plans, and he is the reason we had to listen to your lame excuses, then I suppose you wouldn't have anything against, him becoming a experimentation material and that his insides will be given to the academic circles?"

" No. " Zim replied with humility.

" Very well. Now, what to do with you? Don't think of us as heartless, we just don't care." Red smiled slightly." Five years of social work "

" Five years?!" Surprised Zim yelled. " But, what about my mission? Now when Dib is out of the picture, I only have to come back to earth..."

" I don't wanna hear another word about that damn planet, Zim! " Purple exclaimed " Now it is out of your reach!"

" I agree." Said Red. " Oh and by the way your robot has been subjected to demolition. It was broken."

" GIR?" Not knowing what else to add Zim fell silent. Lanky rulers began discussing something between themselves, from time to time gazing to Zim. One of the 'intellectuals' noted that decision has been made and began to type changes in Zims data base, with his trembling fingers.

"Shit what they ordered him to write?" thought Zim

" Someone will arrive to pick you up. I can assure you... merely five years of torture is not a long time. You'll be a free man after that."

" Five years." Zim kept saying to himself. " Five years of life, wasted"

Fifteen minutes later, something strange started, all the loose-lying objects began to tremble slightly. The screen that were displaying all current informations every second, hung up, as if to emphasize the current situation the walls began to shake and all the "intellectuals" lifted into the air. At this point, the lights in the room has gone crazy, infecting mechanicals windows. The gigantic machine began to emit shrill roar, coming more or less from anti-gravity turbines and countless pipes. To ship has fully landed, windows still shone for next three minutes. The vessel has finally emerged, black as night, car-like looking reflectors in front. Its entire length of hovering up and down ship consisted of oval, constantly moving parts with protruding wires. This phenomenon has attracted the attention of large number of natives who gradually began to focus around the pitch black monster. No one dared to approach too close. Colossal turbines, excreted thick clouds of smoke, which lifted up in the air and covering the entire city.

" It's your ride, Zim." Said Red, not without sarcasm.

" Eeee... right n-n-now... This is some kind of a hellish hole! You'll hide me, right?" Zim fell to his knees from terror and the guard had to support him.

" Yes, this is it, whatever was its name?" Both rulers literally were howling from laughter, but the sound were silenced by hisses and clanging made by the colossus.

" Finally every thing is how its supposed to be." Said Purple. After a few clicks made by "intellectuals" the screen displayed "Zim: Status invaders withdrawn" involuntary Zim looked at the monitor and what he saw has a bigger impact on him than the colossus.

" Nooo! My Tallest! Anything that this!" Zim had to be pulled up again, being now in the possession of the Tallest, he was kicking and screaming still hoping to change the verdict. Zim like an ordinary criminal, has been run by the crowd in the direction of a huge machine, he was, after all guilty of all damage done Irk. No wonder that the sight of the ghost ship has raised such confusion, it showed off only to transport different kinds of criminals to the worst of irken prisons located in the scariest areas. The appearance itself did not amazed, because in recent years it have been seen few times, arriving every five years to drop off someone, but not in every case.

Zim was right when he called the ship "a hellish hole" because of the screams of hundred thousands of prisoners that were coming from its compartments.

Zim was pressed in to one of those "round" part of the wagon, where the only source of light was a small barred oval window near the ceiling. But the worst was yet to come. Inside of Zims head, lights lit up, it was a reaction caused by a helmet that was forced on his head, which purpose was deafening and blinding the victim and in case of escape from the hellish giant, it would blew his head off in a matter of minutes.

Zim was too intoxicated with fear, to be able to realize what, when and why they put it on him, he just sat rigidly in his place.

What the devil? What have they done to me? I have a vice clamp on my head... My eyes... Have I got mute? It seems that I can't hear myself, I can't... These maniacs had placed a torture device on my head! I can't see... I can't hear...I can't help it. Panic. My blood pressure rises, my heart will break. Trembling... My whole body is shaking... My hands are free, I would rather have broken finger than to wear this fucking helmet on my head. Help! I can't hear anything... I can only scream as much as possible and this is the only thing I want! Louder! Louder!

The hellish ship disappeared from the Tallest sight, leaving only the hollow scream "scum"

" I wish that the death penalty wasn't abolished two thousand years ago" Said Purple " And I would like the criminals to be tortured, so they wouldn't disturb citizens."

" We live in different times now. If the fruits are rotten you don't cut the whole tree down, besides the waste can always be utilized. Or would you prefer to see the alleys of cut-off heads everywhere you go?" Asked Red

" I guess you're right." The walls shook with laughter of the crew and heads of irken empire.


End file.
